Smoke and Shrieking
by RedSand
Summary: Zombies don't love. Zombies just kill. Right? Well apparently not for these particular infected. SmokerxWitch.
1. Chapter 1

**Coughing. All that could be heard from the darkened alleyway was coughing and hacking. But that was to be expected, seeing as how he was a smoker. Well, at least that's what the survivors called him. But what the hell, he didn't care. He limped down the alley, wheezing and waiting for a nice little human morsel to wander it's way through. Back when he was human he was a heavy smoker, which is no big surprise, but was also quite the gambler. Probably why he loved being a zombie so much, after all, you never no which survivor's gonna have the auto-shotgun or which will still only have their pistol. He let out another loud hack, realizing he should probably take a short break and let his black lungs catch up with him. Of coarse, having a twenty-five foot tongue resting on them didn't help matters either.  
****  
**"**Fuck…" He thought to himself as he sat next to a dumpster, coughing up small amounts of smoke as he rested.**

**He should really consider himself lucky, at least when compared to other smokers. After all, while most of his kind had their face and arms covered in tumors he was mainly free of them, only having a couple on the left side of his face, obscuring his eye and making him look basically human. At least if you took his glowing gray eye and grayish tinted skin out of the equation. But he had always noticed he was slower and coughed a lot more than others, giving him more of a disadvantage over the others. But if he was careful where and how he hid most humans would pass by him, only staring or offering the occasional "Are you ok?"**

**He was suddenly jerked from his thoughts as the subtle sound of soft crying could be heard around. Jackpot. After all, what zombie cries?  
****Oh yeah, now he remembered. A hunter friend of his once told him about witches, creepy depressed female zombies. But he was a gambler after all, so it would either be a depressed human or an easily agitated undead chick who would rip him to shreds.**

**He slowly stood up, letting out a long hack as he did, and moved towards the origin of the sound. He continued his lopsided stride down the alley, finding a slightly open door with loud wailing pouring from it. He peeked in, but couldn't see anyone, meaning he'd have to go in. He pushed himself through, looking in a back corner of the room to find his host, the witch he suspected it to be. She was sitting on her knees on a mattress, crying to herself and obviously not noticing him yet. He didn't leave like he should've though, instead he stood at the doorway a few minutes before taking a couple steps inside.**

**And then the crying stopped. The witch's whining was replaced by low growling as she turned around, her yellow eyes glowing with hate as she started to stand up. Once she noticed it was another infected though, she slowly calmed down, easing back down to her knees and starting to cry again. The smoker slowly approached her, kneeling down beside her and catching her attention again. She let out a loud growl, though it slowly dimmed as he stayed. Her crying didn't come back though, it was just replaced by silence. The smoker looked over at her, eyeing her almost perfectly human body. Other than her pale skin and hair, glowing yellowish eyes and red (probably stained) claws she was basically still human. They weren't that different really. Next to the hunters, who never worried about blending in (they're like zombie Spartans, they just fight and fight until they die) they were really the most human infected out there. The "boomers" were fat and covered in boils, not to mention every time the see a human they puke all over them, and tanks, well, who the fuck would confuse a tank for a survivor?**

**The witch let out a sigh, shifting to the fetal position and slightly leaning against her new guest. She was cold, as was to be expected from an undead woman in her underwear sitting in a dark room. He was slightly warmer than her, warm enough to ease some of her tension as she sank deeper into him. His arm wrapped around her waist, moving more on it's own than what he controlled. She didn't seem to mind though, resting her head on his shoulder as a small stream of tears leaked down her face.  
**  
"**Are you ok?" He asked, the witch looking up at him as a response. "You're kind is always crying and I was wondering…why…?" He asked, the witch laying her head back down, the smoker laying his head on hers.**

"**I don't know about the others, but…I cry…because I'm…lonely…" She replied as the smoker began rubbing small circles into her back.**

**He lifted his head and looked down, the witch looking up as well, their eyes meeting for a second before they slowly leaned forward, eventually meeting in a passionate kiss.**


	2. Chapter 2

**The witch quickly kissed back, wrapping her clawed hands around his back and pulling him down. The smoker pushed his tongue into her mouth, forcing a small whimper from her as he did so.  
****He was happy, he'd never used his tongue for this particular function as a zombie yet, finding out it was definitely holding it's own in the witch's mouth. She quickly wrapped hers around his, both of them letting their wet muscles dance around each other. They opened their mouths, exposing the pink love organs to the dank air of the room.**

**Then our smoker realized he was missing some very important info.**

"**Hey, um, what's your name?" He asked after pulling off of her temporarily. **

"**Denise. What's yours?"**

"**RJ." He said before placing another small kiss on her.**

"**So…is it true what they say about smokers' tongues…?" She asked, RJ smirking and starting to stick it out.**

"**You tell me." He asked, though with his tongue out it sounded more like "Ooh tell uh." **

**His tongue slinked it's way down her body, able to lick and tease most of the exposed skin before he wrapped it around her waist and rested the tip at her lower stomach. Just as it slowly pushed into her panties he reeked it back into his mouth completely, letting out a small cough when he finished.**

"**W-Why…did you stop…?" She asked, her eyes starting to water, her extreme-emotion getting the better of her. His response was sending his tongue back out, wrapping it around the shirt she wore and pulling it up. She got the idea and finished pulling it off.**

"**Now you." She said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. He once again pulled his tongue back and tossed off his jacket, tossing it aside before ripping off his own shirt. She grabbed onto his back again and pulled him into a short kiss before flipping them over so she was on top. She lowered her hand to his pants and cut them open, letting him finish pulling them and his boxers off in one quick motion. He spat out his tongue again, sending it out and into her panties, licking at her already wet crevice before ripping the small article off of her. He decided to keep playing with her for a few seconds, and once her small moans came to an end she knew it was time to begin. She carefully placed her hands on his abdomen and positioned herself above his member, RJ grabbing the base and guiding it in. She let out a soft groan as she sat, slowly adjusting to his size. The smoker lifted his hands up to Denise's waist and gripped onto her, the witch only waiting a second or two before slowly lifting off of him. She thrusted back down and let out a faint moan, repeating the process a few times before she began picking up speed, accidentally scratching his stomach as she tightened her grip. Her moaning became much louder as she continued, RJ letting out a deep groan before he began thrusting into her. She let out another loud shriek, probably sending any survivors in earshot running for their lives. Her grip tightened, claws digging into his flesh and drawing a little blood. This didn't make him go any easier or slower though, in fact he was doing quite the opposite, going as hard as he could in an attempt to please his depressed partner. He shot out his tongue again, licking and fucking her with the long wet muscle as well as his cock before realizing he was about to cum. He tightly gripped onto her waist before pulling his tongue out, both of them finishing at the same time. She collapsed onto him, panting as he started hacking, realizing hard sex probably wasn't best for his lungs. As soon as his coughing ended he turned Denise's head to face his, meeting her in another passionate kiss before they both passed out.**

#################

**RJ slowly woke up, hacking and wheezing as he did. He looked around the room, searching for his new witch friend as his memory of the night before came back to him. Once he figured she was off in some other street or alleyway crying to herself he got up and walked over to where his clothes were laying. He pulled his shirt on, followed by his black jacket. He put on his boxers and pants, remembering how his little friend had cut them open, meaning he'd have to get a new pair pretty soon. After his shoes he was finished, but since his early morning wheezing was coming to him he decided to wait before leaving. He walked over to the bed and sat down, leaning against the wall.  
****Suddenly, to his surprise and joy, his witch walked through the door with a dead body.**

"**You were asleep…so I thought…I'd…get us some food…" She mumbled, dropping the corpse on the floor before dropping to her knees and starting to softly cry. RJ got up and walked over, kneeling down and hugging her. **

"**You don't need to be sad anymore Denise, I don't want you to be lonely, I wanna stay with you." He said, the witch slowly grabbing onto his back in response.**

"**Thank you…so much RJ…" She said as he released her, both of them looking into each other's eyes before Denise looked down and cracked what appeared to be a small smile. "…you need new pants."**

**RJ looked down and noticed his worn jeans around his ankles, something a tad embarrassing.**

"**Uh…sorry…" He muttered before his new girlfriend hugged onto him.**


	3. Chapter 3

"**I've gotta go now, you gonna be ok here?" RJ asked, Denise turning a frown and nodding. He placed a small kiss on her forehead and grabbed her in a tight hug, quickly releasing her and letting her wander back over to the mattress, drop to her knees, and start crying. He turned around and exited the little room they called home, ready to go out and find a new pair of pants. It was a little awkward walking around with one hand gripped around the top to keep them from falling, but he knew the land pretty good and could find a clothing store pretty fast.  
****He walked through crowds of the normal infected, watching as they'd stumble around, lay on the ground, vomit, all of their normal routines until a loud sound or a boomer would puke. He looked around at the row of buildings around him, noticing one of them had a bunch of shirts in the window, meaning time for him to get new clothes for the first time in a while. He approached the building, and once he was only a few steps away he heard an oh-so-familiar screaming sound. He was suddenly tackled to the ground face first. The screaming was changed to what sounded like laughter as the figure climbed off of him.**

"**If I was any other hunter right now you'd be reduced to a puff of smoke, you know that right?" He asked as RJ got back up.**

"**Yes Otis, but if you were any other hunter I would've just choked you to death with my tongue." the smoker replied, facing the chuckling hunter with a triumphant look. "Something funny?"**

"**Nothing, besides your pants are around your ankles." Otis replied.**

**RJ quickly looked down, pulled his pants back up, and started walking back into the store. Otis got down and started crawling on his hands and knees, following his friend.**

"**So what, some survivor got lucky and shot your pants open or something?" The hunter asked as RJ grabbed a pair of black jeans.**

"**Maybe, maybe something else ripped my pants open." He replied before taking off his old pants and putting the new pair on.**

"**A new zombie in my little smoker's life? Wait, it isn't a witch is it?!" He asked as they walked back out.**

"**No dipshit, it's a boomer. Of course she's a witch!" He replied as they entered the little alleyway.**

"**So you're not the least bit worried you're gonna surprise her one day and she'll rip you to pieces?" Otis asked as they carefully entered the small room.**

"**Enough with the questions, should I introduce you two or are you gonna leave?" RJ asked, walking over to his sobbing witch.**

"**I'll stay, might as well find out who stole my little smoker's heart." Otis replied, crawling through the door and over to the bed.**

**RJ nodded to him, put his arm around Denise's shoulder and moved his head in to whisper to her.**

"**My friend Otis came by, do you wanna meet him?" He asked, Denise slowly nodding and getting up with him.**

"**Denise, this is Otis, Otis, Denise." RJ said, the witch and hunter shaking hands before they all sat down. They basically sat in an awkward silence for a while, none of them really knowing what to talk about. Otis suddenly looked down at his growling stomach, knowing what to talk about.**

"**I'm hungry." He said, catching RJ's attention. **

"**Denise and I already ate earlier, but I suppose we could go out and hunt some more survivors down." RJ replied before turning to the witch. "You wanna come?" **

**She shook her head and leaned against him, tilting her head up to look him in the eye.  
**"**You two go without me, I'd only keep them away…" She said before letting her head sink. RJ cupped her chin and looked down at her, forming a small smile before moving in for a small kiss. She started kissing back, wrapping her claws around his back, he doing the same and pushing her to the floor. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and probed around a little, forcing a short moan from Denise before the sound of Otis clearing his throat distracted them. They got up and looked at the hunter with a surprised look, both of them actually forgetting he'd been there. RJ got up and walked towards the door with him. **

"**So where you wanna go?" Otis asked, getting down and crawling while his friend walked.**

"**I dunno, let's do our old maneuver." RJ replied, both of them smirking as they continued into town, ready to do what zombies do best.**

**####**

**Authors Note -** **you want me to keep going right? I mean I don't know, if you like or dislike it.  
Also, anyone who can guess where I'm getting the names from get's...whatever they want, whether it be in this story or whatever.**


	4. Chapter 4

**RJ stumbled and Otis crawled through the droves of infected, before coming up to a large building, an insurance firm or law office back in the day.**

"**This place look good?" Otis asked as they walked to the door.**

"**Yeah, seems good enough." RJ replied as they entered, heading up the stairs looking for a decently high-up floor.**

"**It's been too long since we went out huntin' some weak little humans, hasn't it?" Otis asked before pushing through a door on the fifth floor.**

"**There you go again, underestimating them." RJ replied as Otis squatted in front of the large window in the same way a dog would.**

"**Pssh, humans ain't nothin' but nothin', they all end up running like scared little rabbits in the end." Otis said before turning to his smoker friend with a smirk. "Run rabbit, run!"**

**RJ rolled his eye and walked over to him, watching for a survivor. After a few bored minutes of waiting a girl walked up to the building, wearing a pink hoody and her brown hair in a ponytail. She was holding two pistols, but had a hunting rifle on her back. She was looking around with caution, but stood no chance of protecting herself from the two.**

"**She seems good, let's get her." RJ said before walking out and to the roof. He slinked up to the edge and spit out a little of his tongue, waiting for her to walk a little closer before he made his move. She dropped her hands to her side and walked a little closer, right into their trap.**

**RJ shot out his tongue and wrapped it around her, pulling her up to the window near where Otis was hiding.**

"**MMM, Louis! Help! Smoker!!" She screamed, shocking the zombie.**

"**What the hell…" He thought while looking down and struggling to hold his tongue around her.**

**Otis heard her scream and wanted this problem taken care of before this "Louis" guy showed up. He leapt through the window with a screech, clung to the girls body as they swung forward on RJ's tongue and began laughing as they flew back inside. RJ's tongue drew back into his mouth as he rushed back downstairs to join his friend and their food.  
****Otis was having fun ripping at her torso, but RJ had to end that and kicked him off. Without giving her a chance to recover he wrapped his tongue around her neck and twisted, snapping it and leaving her dead.**

"**Kill buzz, gotta end my fun!" Otis chuckled as he began digging into her flesh, ripping off strips and eating them.**

"**Did you not hear her shout for someone else? That means she's got backup, so hurry up and eat so we can leave." RJ replied.**

**####**

"**Zoey! Zoey!" Louis yelled, running into the street with his Uzi prepared. When no sound came back he knew what had happened and sunk, waiting on his other teammates to arrive.**

"**Louis, what happened, where's Zoey?" Bill asked, blowing though a few normal infected with his M-16.**

"**She…I think she's gone…" The businessman replied as Francis showed up, shooting the head off of an infected the was approaching Bill. **

"**Too bad, I was just starting to like her." He said while resting his pump-shotgun on his shoulder.**

"**Hey man, have a little respect!" Louis scolded as they walked into the building and started looking for guns, ammo, or medkits. Once they'd blown through a few zombies they started up the stairs, going from floor to floor, carefully inspecting before they reached level five.**

**Francis opened the door to the dreaded room and saw her corpse on the ground.**

"**Shit, found Zoey, and it ain't pretty." He said as his team approached. Bill stared at the corpse with a blank look and Louis ran out of the room, the sound of vomiting being heard a second later. Francis approached the body, took the medkit off her back and one of her pistols before walking back to the veteran. Bill looked at him with a look of disgust, but Francis merely shrugged.**

"**Waste not want not, right?" He asked as they moved on.**

**####**

**RJ and Otis walked back to RJ's little whole in the wall, Otis wanting to have another one of their riveting conversations, and RJ wanting Otis gone so he and Denis could have a little private time.**

"**So ya think we fucked up back their? I mean, who knows how many others she's got waiting." Otis asked as he crawled to the semi-open door.**

"**She only yelled one name, so probably just one other guy, and we can more than likely take him. After all, a smoker, a hunter, and a witch ganging up on one guy?" RJ replied, walking in as Otis walked off.**

**Suddenly a boomer came running (actually more of a fast waddle) up to them, yelling at the two in a panic.**

"**Please! I heard you had a witch! You gotta hide me!!" He yelled, trying to press past the smoker.**

"**Hey, what the fuck's wrong with you?!" RJ replied, pushing the fat zombie over in an attempt to protect him from Denise.**

"**There's these three survivors blowin' there way through everyone, I figured I could hide with your witch until they left!" The boomer hastily replied, getting back up and looking around. Gun fire, and a lot of it, could be heard in the distance, signifying to RJ and Otis that the woman they killed indeed had some friends.  
****The looks signaled that they needed to hide fast, and they did. Otis jumped into the dumpster next to him and closed the lid, while RJ quickly ran into his home.**

"**Denise honey, I need a big favor." He said while approaching her, crouching down and wrapping his arm around her.**

"**...What is it…?" She asked, RJ quickly planting a deep kiss on her and spinning her towards the door.**

"**I need you to cry." He said before getting up and walking over to the mattress and hiding in the shadows.**

**Denise had no idea why, but knew RJ wouldn't be messing with her. She fell to her knees and began crying heavily, the sound of gunfire coming nearer.**

"**Please! Help!!!" The Boomer shouted outside the door, pounding and trying to break through it before a loud shotgun blast and a wet explosion could be heard. The following sound was of a horde coming, screaming and rapid gunfire. Once it had cleared, it was clear who the victor was.**

"**Francis, lets check out this room." An older voice said as the door was slowly pushed open. What looked like a Vietnam veteran and a biker walked in, the old guy with an M-16 and the Francis guy with a shotgun. They saw Denise crying and slowly look up growling, the two slowly backing back out. Once He figured it was safe RJ walked out and kneeled down to give Denise a hug.**

"**Thanks Denise…I love you." He said before he felt her grip tighten around him.**

"**You…you really mean it…?" She asked, RJ nodding before being tackled to the ground. "I…I love you too!"**

**The two met in a passionate kiss, Denise already starting to tug off RJ's jacket as his tongue probed the inside of her mouth.**

**####**

**Otis carefully poked his head out of the dumpster and took a glance around, seeing nothing but a mass of dead infected. He climbed out and crawled over to the door, gently pushing it open and exposing what appeared to be an empty room. He looked around, and noticed that his smoker friend was naked, his worn green jacket around his crotch and his witch cuddled next to him. They seemed to be asleep, and Otis thought it best to let sleeping dead lie and left.**


	5. Chapter 5

**RJ slowly sat up, coughed as quiet as he could to not wake up Denise, and got dressed. He wandered outside and let his girlfriend finish sleeping, figuring he could hang out with Otis for a while. He opened the door to find a lot of dead infected and a few…well a close to live as they come, feeding on a rotting boomer's lower half. The dumpster opened up and his friend crawled out, the two walking out with nowhere specific to go.**

"**So what, you were gonna leave me there all night while you were doin' the witch?" Otis asked while crawling along with his friend.**

"**Aww, a little jealous are we?" RJ replied as they walked through a large group of infected.**

"**Please, like I have any problem getting laid." Otis replied, crawling along as his friend looked down at him.**

"**Hey, I've got a question that's been bugging me for a while." RJ asked, his friend nodding in response. "Can I sit on your back and ride you around?"**

**When no reply came, RJ new the answer to his question, and let out a deep cough.**

"**So ya ever wonder what your little witchy-poo's doin' while we're out raisin' hell?" Otis asked, RJ shrugging and coughing again.**

"**Not really, but Denise is a witch, it's not like she's in their drinking and playing with herself until I get home." He replied before letting out a loud hack.**

"**God man, why don't you get some cough syrup or something? It might help." Otis said before his friend climbed on his back.**

"**That was the dumbest thing you've ever said. Ever. So just for that, I get to ride you." RJ replied, Otis sighing a second before crawling off with his new passenger.**

**####**

"**Man…I can't stop thinking about Zoey…" Louis said as he and his comrades walked through the recently cleared out streets.**

"**Ahh stop your bitchin'" Francis replied, walking in front of the group. "We're still alive, and we still need to find a way outta this hell-hole." **

"**He's got a point Louis, we've just gotta accept that she's gone and move on." Bill added. Louis started mumbling to himself as they continued, finding a new little area filled with your standard infected. Francis and Bill smirked at each other for a second before raising their weapons and opening fire. Most of the zombies in front of them dropped with random limbs falling as the second wave charged in for the attack.**

"**What the fuck?!" RJ yelled, crawling off of his friend and both of them rushing to a nearby building. They hid behind the wall as wave after wave of infected charged at the survivors, RJ and Otis being smart enough to run inside. Otis crouched down next to the door and Otis ran into a back hallway, the two ready for whoever ran in.**

"**Hey! I'm gonna check this building!" A voice called, a new one to the two infected.**

"**Fine Louis, just hurry the hell up!" Francis called, the zombies realizing it was their old friends, and probably the Louis Otis's dinner the day before was screaming for.**

**The door flung open and a guy who looked like he'd never shot a gun in his life before the infection ran in and took a quick sweep around. Otis decided to wait behind the door until he was sure his target wouldn't be much of a fight. His smoker friend suddenly popped out and shot his tongue out, wrapping it around the man's neck before Otis jumped out and began ripping him apart. He hurried with this one, only playing with him for a second before reaching under RJ's slimy muscle and using his claw to slit his throat. Once he was halfway there Louis's friends burst through the door and opened fire. Otis was left alone, but one of Francis's bullets flew into his tongue and a couple of Bill's shells grazing his side. He pulled his tongue back up to the wound and ran down the hallway, Otis crouching and leaping after him. The hunter helped his friend out the window and they hurried off as fast as they could, hoping they wouldn't be chased after. They quickly made it back to RJ's little home without the sound of gunfire following them, meaning they'd escaped.**

"**I think we should split up for a while, keep the fuckin' humans busy lookin' for us." Otis said, RJ nodding in response. He leapt off before the smoker walked into his room and plopped down next to his girlfriend. He rested his head on her lap and stuck out his tongue a little, Denise looking down at him and stroking his hair. He raised his bullet wound up to her face, the witch gasping a little and a few tears filling her eyes.**

"**Ith otay, I dun mine pen." He mumbled before pulling his tongue back. Denise also noticed the two scrapes across his side were bleeding, and wasn't gonna stop worrying until she was sure he was ok.**

"…**And these…?" She questioned while lightly tracing her claw against the wounds.**

"**I'm fine, don't worry." He said, starting a weak little smile that his lover tried her best to imitate. An idea popped into his little head as he sat up, placing a small kiss on the witch and walking out. "I'll be back in a sec, ok?" He asked, Denise nodding as he walked out. He limped out to his old dumpster and reached behind it. He pulled out a medkit and walked back in and took his spot back next to her before tugging off his jacket and shirt. He took out the roll of gauze and wrapped it around his waist, covering the wound up before pulling his jacket back on. "See? Good as new."**

**Denise weakly smiled, though it went from an innocent smile to a kinky smirk pretty quickly before she pounced him, not being able to control herself.**

**####**

**a/n - Pretty sure next chapter should be Otis-less, maybe another lemon, if you guys want that is...  
And RJ (in case you can't tell) is saying "It's ok, I don't mind pain." I tested it myself, and that's what it sounded like for me.**


	6. Chapter 6

Alright folks, I know some of you like this story but I can't go on. I've lost all inspiration on this and can't think up anything. If someone wants to adopt this story feel free to, but I'm deleting it soon. Sorry! It doesn't help that my brother stole and sold my copy of L4D DX but if any are interested I might be writing a Fallout 3 fic soon.

So once again I apologize, and hope you have it in your hearts to forgive me.


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